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World Bipolar Day

Today, March 30th, is World Bipolar Day. Just for transparency’s sake, I’m writing this post while feeling the most depressed I’ve been since December. I’m frustrated and tired, because despite doing everything “right” I’m back here, feeling like shit and barely being able to take care of myself. After a couple months of a pretty decent mood, earlier this month I experienced my first mixed episode, which had me seriously considering a trip to the hospital, even though I’d sworn I would never step foot in that building again. I was starting to think maybe life can be consistently Okay, meds are doing their job well, and my bad days can be just that, but apparently that's too much to ask for. So I’m afraid I don’t have the most positive outlook on bipolar-related things right now. Okay, you've been warned. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (or “manic-depressive psychosis” as one of my records still calls it for whatever reason) in 2022, after a particularly bad, and my only, ...
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first ever blog post!

Hello!

I've been inspired by Lilly's tumblr post and her blog to make my very own blog that you're on right now!

This is far from my first attempt at blogging. I used to have multiple blogs here, on blogspot before I was even a teenager. I really doubt anyone read any of my posts back then, except for maybe my mum, but it brought me immense joy and satisfaction anyway.

Then, already as an adult, I decided to start posting on Medium in a similar manner. In fact, that was almost exactly two years ago. I didn't really stick to it and, after just two posts, I abandoned that project like many creative endeavours before. I did enjoy it, don't get me wrong, I just didn't feel the drive to keep it going. I got caught in the trap of thinking very pragmatically about it and deciding there's not real point or purpose to me writing there. The only form of writing I stuck with is fanfiction, but as you can guess that is pretty limiting when it comes to form.

Since I started my gap year and stopped writing assignments for uni regularly (and as an English literature student I did write quite a lot within those three years) I've been missing writing. A few months ago, I decided I wanted to start posting on Substack, but I never even started. I want to start writing about music, as that's something I enjoy, but never share. Both making music and writing or talking about it are things that I'd love to make a career out of one day, so it seems silly not to even try to write about it. I want to write about food I make and places I go and books I read. I want to have a place to share my experiences and thoughts freely, without any expectations. Kind of like a diary, a journal or, well a blog!

On top of all that, I've been watching Sex and The City and I'd be lying if I said the scenes where Carrie sits by a computer, sipping on a drink and writing her column haven't given me the writer's itch. 

Unfortunately, writing is my favourite thing that I can't live without, but it is also something that drives me mad and staring at an empty google doc is a constant struggle I face when I try to write. With that being said, this seems to be a pretty low-stakes situation, and I'm hoping that will make it easier for me to write more.

I have a post planned for the weekend about "this week's favourites," which I plan on making a series here. Sorry for this mostly bland and boring post, but isn't that what introductions are for, after all? 

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